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Dear Friend,
亲爱的朋友,
There's a wide variety of worldly teaching in the area of sexual addiction recovery. If you do a search on the Internet for "sexual addiction," you'll find teaching about returning to your past, digging up repressed memories, reliving past hurts, etc.—all to help you escape the addiction trap. Here is one example from a book advertisement:
关于治愈性瘾方面的世俗教导可谓汗牛充栋。如果你在因特网上搜索“性瘾”,你将会发现一些教导:回到过去、挖掘被压抑的记忆、在想象中再次经历以往的伤害等等 – 都用来帮助你逃脱瘾的网罗。这里有一个例子,是一本书上广告:
"Buried memories of sexual abuse can have a devastating impact on relationships, work and health. Uses case histories to stress the importance of recovering these memories as a crucial step in healing and explains various therapeutic processes used in memory retrieval."
记忆中埋藏着的性侵害可能会对人际关系、工作和健康产生毁灭性的影响。我们用个人病史来强调恢复这些记忆的重要性,这是治疗过程中的关键一步,同时我们也会解释在记忆恢复中使用的各种治疗过程。
And here's another example of the world’s teaching:
这里则是世俗教导的另一个例子:
"I take a history of the man's exposure to pornography and masturbation to it (or masturbation with no pornography) and sexual acting out. I do this in the wife's presence, which helps her understand more clearly that in some ways her husband was a victim usually starting at an early age.
I next inquire about possible sexual abuse or early seduction of the husband as a child or as an adolescent, which have eroticized him prematurely. In taking this history, I start with his first memory of exposure to pornography--what its form was (magazine, video, phone sex, etc.) and if he masturbated to it--and continue with the history up to the day of interview."
我选取这个人接触色情、手淫(或无色情手淫)以及性行为的历史。我当着他妻子的面这样做,这样可以帮助她更清楚地了解自己的丈夫在某种程度上也是一个受害者,通常可以追溯到其少年时代。
接下来我询问关于这个丈夫在儿童或少年时所受到的可能性侵害或是诱惑,导致他过早地接触到色情。在选取这段历史的时候,我以他最初接触色情的记忆开始——是什么形式的(杂志、影像、或是电话色情等),还有他是否对此手淫——然后一直发展到面谈当天的历史。
As Christians, we don't take sexual abuse lightly—we don't pass it off as insignificant or tell people to "just get over it."
The compassion that a Christian has in dealing with a case of real sexual abuse must exceed that of the unbelieving world, for Christ, in us, has compassion for the hurting. And it's certainly helpful to know a person's background in order to show compassion as we interact with them.
作为一个基督徒,我们觉得性侵害很严重 – 我们不是把它作为一桩小事置之不理或是告诉人们“忘了它吧”。基督徒在处理真实性侵害的案件中所表现的怜悯心必须要超过不信基督的人们;因为在我们里面的基督对伤害有怜悯。而且了解一个人的背景肯定是有帮助的,有助于我们与之交流时表现出怜悯之情。
However, the Bible nowhere instructs us to return to our past to understand how to escape sexual sins in the present. Quite the opposite—we are instructed, "Brothers, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it.
But one thing I do: forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus" (Philippians 3:13-14).
然而,圣经在任何地方都没有教导我们要回到过去,进而了解如何逃脱现在的性罪行。完全相反,我们被教导“弟兄们,我不是以为自己已经得着了,我只有一件事,就是忘记背后,努力面前的,向着标竿直跑,要得神在基督耶稣里从上面召我来得的奖赏。” (腓立比书3:13-14)
Question 1
问题 1
In Philippians 3:13-14, what did Paul say he did with his past?
保罗在腓立比书3:13-14中说他是如何看待过去的?
他忘记它
他仔细回来研究
In the highly therapized world in which we live, this teaching may come as quite a shock. Many have been taught that the past is key to the present, and that reliving the pain of the past will remove the pain in the present.
But this isn't biblical truth; it's man's theory. Personally, I was never "eroticized prematurely;" I chose to view pornography when older. We work with many students here who were never abused during childhood, but who are just as thoroughly addicted as others who were abused.
在我们所生活着的这个高度推崇心理治疗的世界中,这种教导可能听起来会相当令人吃惊。一直以来,人们被教导说过去是解开现在的钥匙,再次经历过去的痛可以除掉现在的痛。
但这并不符合圣经真理;这是人的理论。就个人而言,我从未“过早地接触色情”;当我长大时,是我选择了观看色情。我们在这里一起工作的很多学员在孩提时代也从未受到过性侵害,但是他们却像那些受过侵害的人们一样成瘾。
Question 2
问题 2
What's your understanding of the past and present? If you believe the past is key to the present, where did you learn that?
你对过去和现在的理解是什么?如果你认为过去是解开现在的钥匙,你是在哪里学到的?
Christians are not focused backward and downward, but rather forward and upward. Someone in a burning building isn't terribly interested in how the fire started—they just want to get out!
基督徒所关注不是过去和下面的事,相反是前面和上面的。在烈火燃烧的大厦里,人们并不很关心火是如何着起来的 – 他们只想逃出去!
Please read the following story and provide your comments below.
请阅读以下的故事并提出你的评论:
So Joseph went after his brothers and found them near Dothan. 18 But they saw him in the distance, and before he reached them, they plotted to kill him.
19 "Here comes that dreamer!" they said to each other. 20 "Come now, let's kill him and throw him into one of these cisterns and say that a ferocious animal devoured him. Then we'll see what comes of his dreams."
21 When Reuben heard this, he tried to rescue him from their hands. "Let's not take his life," he said. 22 "Don't shed any blood. Throw him into this cistern here in the desert, but don't lay a hand on him." Reuben said this to rescue him from them and take him back to his father.
23 So when Joseph came to his brothers, they stripped him of his robe-the richly ornamented robe he was wearing- 24 and they took him and threw him into the cistern. Now the cistern was empty; there was no water in it.
25 As they sat down to eat their meal, they looked up and saw a caravan of Ishmaelites coming from Gilead. Their camels were loaded with spices, balm and myrrh, and they were on their way to take them down to Egypt.
26 Judah said to his brothers, "What will we gain if we kill our brother and cover up his blood? 27 Come, let's sell him to the Ishmaelites and not lay our hands on him; after all, he is our brother, our own flesh and blood." His brothers agreed. So when the Midianite merchants came by, his brothers pulled Joseph up out of the cistern and sold him for twenty shekels of silver to the Ishmaelites, who took him to Egypt" Genesis 37:17-27
那人说:“他们已经走了,我听见他们说要往多坍去。”约瑟就去追赶他哥哥们,遇见他们在多坍。18 他们远远地看见他,趁他还没有走到跟前,大家就同谋要害死他,
19 彼此说:“你看!那作梦的来了。20 来吧!我们将他杀了,丢在一个坑里,就说有恶兽把他吃了,我们且看他的梦将来怎么样。”
21 流便听见了,要救他脱离他们的手,说:“我们不可害他的性命。”22 又说:“不可流他的血,可以把他丢在这野地的坑里,不可下手害他。”流便的意思是要救他脱离他们的手,把他归还他的父亲。
23 约瑟到了他哥哥们那里,他们就剥了他的外衣,就是他穿的那件彩衣,24 把他丢在坑里,那坑是空的,里头没有水。25 他们坐下吃饭,举目观看,见有一伙米甸的以实玛利人从基列来,用骆驼驮着香料、乳香、没药,要带下埃及去。
26 犹大对众弟兄说:“我们杀我们的兄弟,藏了他的血,有什么益处呢?27 我们不如将他卖给以实玛利人,不可下手害他,因为他是我们的兄弟,我们的骨肉。”众弟兄就听从了他。创世记37:17-27
Joseph's brothers plotted his death and cruelly mistreated him by throwing him into a pit and leaving him there. Then they sold him into the hands of slave traders. Eventually he was thrown into a dungeon because of the lies of another.
These were horrible injustices done to one who was innocent of any crime. Can you imagine the temptation toward bitterness that Joseph must have had? He could have felt terribly angry in his heart towards his brothers, and even toward God.
约瑟的弟兄们策划要杀害他,并残忍地把他扔进一个坑里,离他而去。然后他们把他卖到奴隶贩子的手中。最终他因为另一个人的谎言被关进地牢里。
这些可怕的不公之事发生在一个完全无辜的人身上。你能想象到约瑟一定会怀有的苦毒的试探吗?他一定会对祂的哥哥们心怀愤怒,甚至对神也是这样。
Question 3
问题 3
Friend, please take a moment and write down any injustices that were done to you in your past. You can keep it brief—just a few simple statements of any mistreatment you have endured.
朋友,请花点时间写下在过去发生在你身上的一件不公平的事。你可以简短些 – 用几个句子描写你所承受的任何苛待。
If we follow the story of Joseph in the remaining chapters of Genesis, we read that he is later exalted to the position of prime minister of all Egypt, second in command of the entire nation.
When, because of a famine, his brothers had to travel to Egypt to buy food, they were forced to ask Joseph for food. When they discovered it was him—the brother whom they had mistreated so badly—they were scared to death.
Would Joseph now get even with them? Would he have them killed? No—because Joseph walked with His God, he was not bitter or angry; nor did he seek revenge. Notice his answer to his brothers as they came trembling before him:
如果我们在创世记的剩下几章里接着读约瑟的故事,我们就知道他后来升到了统管全埃及宰相的高位,成为整个国家的二号人物。
因为饥荒,他的哥哥们不得不到埃及来买粮,他们被迫向约瑟要粮食。当他们发现是他—那个他们如此虐待的弟弟—他们快要被吓死了。
现在约瑟会报复他们吗?他会杀了他们吗? 不 – 因为约瑟与他的神同行,他没有苦毒和愤怒,也不寻求报复。注意他对在他面前颤抖的哥哥们的回答:
But Joseph said to them, "Don't be afraid. Am I in the place of God? 20 You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good to accomplish what is now being done, the saving of many lives.
21 So then, don't be afraid. I will provide for you and your children." And he reassured them and spoke kindly to them" Genesis 50:19-21
约瑟对他们说:“不要害怕,我岂能代替 神呢?20 从前你们的意思是要害我,但 神的意思原是好的,要保全许多人的性命,成就今日的光景。21现在你们不要害怕,我必养活你们和你们的妇人孩子。”于是约瑟用亲爱的话安慰他们。 创世记 50:19-21
How did Joseph deal with his past abuse? He recognized God was in control of all things, and that God had a purpose in everything that happened to him. Friend, if you have been abused, here is real and lasting help.
Know that God was in control even during the bad times, and had a purpose in it. Joseph said that "God intended it for good..." and you can say the same thing. No, this does not make God the author of sin, but it does say that God is working out His plan at all times (see Daniel 4:35, Ephesians 1:11 and Job 42:2).
约瑟是如何对待他过去的伤害的?他认识到神在掌管一切,而且神对每一件临到他的事都有美意。朋友,如果你曾被伤害,这是一个实在而长久的帮助。
即使是在苦难中也知道神在掌管,并有祂的美意在其中。约瑟说“神的意思原是好的…”你也可以说同样的话。不,这不是说神是罪的创造者,而是说神一直在实现祂的计划(请参见但以理书4:35,以弗所书1:11,和约伯记42:2)
Next, notice what Joseph named one of his children, and the reason he named him the way he did:
"Before the years of famine came, two sons were born to Joseph by Asenath daughter of Potiphera, priest of On. Joseph named his firstborn Manasseh and said, 'It is because God has made me forget all my trouble and all my father's household'" (Genesis 41:50-51).
Manassehsounds like the Hebrew word for "forget." God enabled Joseph to forget all his trouble. The psychologist and psychiatrist can't do this; only God can help us forget our troubles!
接下来,请注意约瑟给他的儿子所起的名字,和他如此取名字的缘由:“荒年未到以前,安城的祭司波提非拉的女儿亚西纳给约瑟生了两个儿子。约瑟给长子起名叫玛拿西(就是“使之忘了”的意思),因为他说:“ 神使我忘了一切的困苦和我父的全家。”(创世记41:50-51)。
玛拿西在希伯来语中听起来就像“遗忘”。神使得约瑟忘记了所有的苦难。心理学家和心理治疗师们无法做到这一点;只有神能帮助我们忘记我们的苦难。
Question 4
问题 4
How does the name of Joseph's son correspond with this teaching in this lesson?
约瑟儿子的名字与本课的教导是如何相符的?
As stated earlier, we are not teaching people to simply "forget about the past." No, we are teaching that God is in control, that God has a purpose and a plan for all things, and that He is able to bring good out of bad.
One lady I know, who was abused as a little girl and again as a teenager, is now being used greatly in ministry to others. Her constant theme is that God is sovereign and is carrying out His plan in all things and at all times—that He can and does turn bad things of the past into good.
如前所述,我们不是在教导人们简单的“忘记过去”。不,我们是在教导 “神在掌管”,神对所有的事情都有祂的心意和计划,祂能够从坏事中带出好事。
我认识一位女士,她在自己的童年和青春期遭到伤害,现在正被大大使用服事他人。她不变的信念就是神是至高无上的,并且正在所有的时间里和一切的事情上实行祂的计划 – 祂能够也要把过去的坏事变成好事。
God uses mankind's sin for His own purposes; nowhere is this shown more clearly than in the cross of Jesus Christ. It was the Jews who demanded His death, though He had done nothing wrong. And it was the Romans who crucified Him, though there were no legitimate charges. And both were sinning as they did so.
But ultimately, it was God Who gave His Son, using the sin of the people involved to bring about the salvation of all who will believe. Notice how these two thoughts, of men doing the sinning, but of God being in control, are woven together in this passage:
"This man was handed over to you by God's set purpose and foreknowledge; and you, with the help of wicked men, put him to death by nailing him to the cross" (Acts 2:23).
神使用人们的罪来成就祂的目的;没有什么地方比耶稣基督的十字架更能清楚地显明这一点了。尽管耶稣没有做错任何事情,犹太人还是定了祂的死罪。尽管没有合法的指控,罗马人还是钉死了祂。他们在这样做的时候都犯了罪。
但是最终,是神舍了祂的儿子,用牵涉到的这些人们的罪为所有相信的人带来了救恩。注意两种想法,人犯了罪,但神在掌管,这都汇集在这节经文里:“他既按着神的定旨先见被交与人,你们就藉着无法之人的手把他钉在十字架上杀了。”(使徒行传2:23)。
Not only does the world teach those who have been abused to "go back" if we have been abused, but even abusers are tempted to remain in the past as well. Guilt is like the undertow that drags us back out into the sea of sin again.
The consequences of our sin may last a lifetime, and may be very discouraging at times. And the devil is called "the accuser of the brothers" for a reason—he works in that capacity very well.
如果我们曾经被伤害,不仅这个世界教导受害者要“回去”,甚至施害者也被怂恿要停留在过去。罪疚就像是一个回头浪,把我们拉回来,又投进了罪的海洋中。
结果是我们的罪可能持续一生之久,而且有时会非常令人沮丧的。魔鬼因此被称为“弟兄们的控告者”——这是它很擅长的伎俩。
But the Christian has the unique ability to run to Jesus when plagued with guilt, discouraged by consequences, or accused by the enemy. We can pour out our hearts to our Father and ask for help in time of need. Christians have the ability to turn to Scripture in these times.
但是基督徒当被罪疚折磨、为罪的后果而沮丧、或是被仇敌控告的时候,拥有独有的能力奔向耶稣。我们能向我们的天父倾心吐意,请求随时的帮助。基督徒在这些时候有能力转向圣经。
·If you're feeling guilty, read Hebrews 9:14.
如果你感到罪疚,请读希伯来书9:14
·If you're sad about the lasting consequences of your sin, read Revelation 21:3-4.
如果你对自己罪的长久后果感到悲哀,请读 启示录21:3-4
·If you're being accused by the evil one, read Colossians 1:22-23.
如果你正被那恶者控告,请读歌罗西书1:22-23
Question 5
问题 5
Of the three things listed above (guilt, consequences, and the devil), which one bothers you the most?
上面列出的三件事(罪疚、后果和魔鬼),那一样最搅扰你?
So, Friend, whether abuser or abused, we do not focus on the past to help us. We go to Christ, for He is sufficient for every problem. I have worked with those who were horribly abused in childhood, and have seen them restored to wholeness.
And I've worked with those who have abused others and caused them much pain, and have seen them restored as well. I gently listen to the stories of abuse, have compassion on the ones involved, and then try to gently point to Christ as the answer.
所以,朋友,无论是受害还是施害,我们不要专注过去来帮助我们。我们去找基督,因为祂足以应付所有问题。我曾经服事那些在童年遭受可怕伤害的人们,并见证了他们被完全恢复。
我也曾服侍那些伤害过他人并给他们带来巨大痛苦的人,也看到了他们的恢复。我温和地听这些伤害的故事,同情当事人,然后试着温和地指出基督就是答案。
Question 6
问题 6
How are you doing now? What are your thoughts on today's lesson? How is your life going?
你现在怎样?你对今天的课程有什么感想?你现在的生活怎样?
Course member Fred wrote: "Until this course, I was afraid to talk about what was holding me in bondage, which was just plain sin. With the problem recognized as sin, I have now received God’s remedy, the blood of His cross for forgiveness, and His death for mine, His life for mine.
While I thought it was a ‘sickness,’ or ‘psychological weakness,’ I saw myself as the victim, rather than the perpetrator, and could never find healing, for no one knew the cure."
学员Fred写到,“在这个课程之前,我很害怕谈到导致我被捆绑的事,那是一个痛苦的罪。当认识到这是罪时,我得到了神的医治,祂在十字架上为赦罪流血,为了我们而死,也为我们而生。
当我认为那是一种‘病态’或是‘心理弱点’的时候,我把自己当成一个受害者,而不是一个犯罪者,这永远无法被医治,以为没有人知道药方。”
Thoughts to consider:
今日思想:
"Let us look only to Jesus, the One who began our faith and who makes it perfect. He suffered death on the cross. But he accepted the shame as if it were nothing because of the joy that God put before him. And now he is sitting at the right side of God's throne.
3Think about Jesus' example. He held on while wicked people were doing evil things to him. So do not get tired and stop trying" Hebrews 12:2-3
仰望为我们信心创始成终的耶稣(或作“仰望那将真道创始成终的耶稣”)。他因那摆在前面的喜乐,就轻看羞辱,忍受了十字架的苦难,便坐在 神宝座的右边。3 那忍受罪人这样顶撞的,你们要思想,免得疲倦灰心。 希伯来书12:2-3
An additional note
补充说明
If you have been walking in victory over pornography, self-gratification, and all sexual immorality, and if God has given you a heart to help others to freedom, you many want to consider becoming a mentor with Setting Captives Free. To begin the process, we will need you to provide us with a recommendation from the pastor or an elder from your church.
如果你一直行走在战胜色情、自我放纵和一切淫秽的胜利中,而神也赐给你一颗帮助他人获得自由释放的心,也许你愿意考虑成为SCF的导师。如有意,我们将需要你向我们提供从你教会的牧师或长老而来的推荐信。
译者注: 目前还没有中文的导师课程,如果你渴望帮助他人获得释放,请发电子邮件到[email protected], 我们可以一起操练服事。
We are placing the Pastor/Elder Recommendation Form here on Day 55 so that you may begin the process of talking with your pastor and securing his recommendation prior to completing the mentorship application. (With the approval of your mentor, you may begin the mentorship course after completion of The Way of Purity course).
我们把牧师、长老推荐信的格式放在第55天的课程中,你可以在完成导师申请前与你的牧师谈谈,并得到他的推荐信。(在得到你的导师批准后,你可以在完成洁净之路课程后开始导师课程)。
To complete the online Pastor/Elder Recommendation Form, click here!
要在线完成牧师、长老推荐信,请点击这里!
To download the Microsoft Word version of the Pastor/Elder Recommendation Form, click here!
要下载MS Word 格式的牧师、长老推荐信,请点击这里!
To submit the completed form,email it to [email protected] or mail it to Setting Captives Free, P O Box 1527, Medina, OH, 44258-1527.
要递交已完成的表格,请发电子邮件到[email protected]或寄往Setting Captives Free, P O Box 1527, Medina, OH, 44258-1527.
To clarify what the first accountability question means, we have included the following explanation.
为了厘清第一个责任问题的涵义,我们给出以下的解释。
What does "feasting" mean?"Feasting" is more than just reading the Bible; it is a term to express the nourishing of our souls in Jesus Christ. It means that we are sitting at the feet of Jesus, hearing His Word and believing it, for the purpose of implementing the truths into our lives.
It means we are receiving spiritual nourishment and we are delighting our souls in His grace and truth. This may be done in reading our Bibles, hearing God's Word preached, interacting with others in the Scriptures, and studying through this course, etc. This definition is at least a start; further explanation is included in the lessons.
什么是“享用筵宴”?
这里的“享用筵宴”不仅仅是读圣经。
这是一个表示我们的灵魂在耶稣基督里得到喂养的词。这表示我们坐在耶稣的脚前,听祂的道,笃信之,目的是要把真理行在我们的生活中;这表示我们得到灵里的滋养,在主的恩典和真理中心灵得喜乐。这可以是读经、听讲道、与他人就经文互动,以及通过这个课程来学习等等。这里只给出一个初步的定义,将来的课程里会有进一步的解释。
Have you been feasting on God's word?
你享用神的话了吗?
Yes是 No 否
If so, when was the last time you feasted? And how? In other words, how did you enjoy God? Reading? Prayer? Worship? Fellowship? Witnessing?
如果是,你最近一次是什么时候?怎样做的?换句话说,你是怎样靠神喜乐的?是读经、祷告、崇拜、团契,还是做见证?
These next, tough, accountability questions apply to the entire period since you did your last lesson.
接下来那些棘手的责任问题,会在整个课程中出现,要根据你上节课以来的情况来回答。
Were you free from pornography since you did the last lesson?
上节课以来,你离开色情了吗?
Yes是 No否
Were you free from self-gratification since you did the last lesson?
上节课以来,你戒除自我放纵了吗?
Yes是 No 否
Were you free from sexual immorality since you did the last lesson?
上节课以来,你远离了淫乱了吗?
Yes是 No否
If you answered "no" to any of the above questions, tell us what led to your fall. If you answered "yes" to the above questions, you may use this area for questions or additional comments.
如果任何一个问题的答案是“否”,请告诉我们是什么导致你的跌倒。如果对以上问题你回答了“是”,你可以在此提出你的问题或其他的评论。
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