The second sign read: "ALL THOSE WHO HAVE NEVER BEEN DOMINATED BY THEIR WIVES, STAND HERE." Underneath the sign stood one man.

另一个标示上写到：从未被自己的妻子支配过的男人，请站在这里。而那里只站了一个男人。

He went over to the man, grabbed his arm and said, "What's the secret, how did you do it? That other line has millions of men and you are the only one standing in this line."

他走到那个男人身边，抓着他的胳膊问到：你是怎么做到的？秘诀是什么？那边有上百万的人，而这边只有你自己。

The man looked around with a puzzled expression and said, "Why, I am not sure I know. My wife just told me to stand here."

那个男人一脸茫然的回答：怎么了？我不知道啊！只是我太太刚才告诉我要站在这里。

We have all heard jokes about "who wears the pants in the family." Yet leadership in the home is no laughing matter. During the last few decades our culture has redefined the meaning and responsibilities of man and woman in society and in the home. Many men are confused and insecure. Many do not know how to act in the home. Growing up, they lacked a good model for leadership at home and have no mental picture of what it means to lead a family. Consequently, they do not lead effectively, or they do not even try.

我们都曾听过不少关于“谁当家“的笑话。可是一家之主的事情可不是能开玩笑的。近几十年来，在我们的文化中已经将男人和女人的社会和家庭意义与责任进行了全新的定义。很多男人感到不安，和困惑。很多人不知道在家里该如何表现。成长吧，他们缺少一个在家里当家的好榜样，也没有一个对于”管好一个家“这个概念的画面。所以，他们管家无方，或他们未曾尝试管家。

Increasingly, many men are becoming passive in the home. They've decided that the easiest thing to do is nothing. The simplest thing—with the smallest risk—is to stay on the fence with both feet firmly planted in mid-air and let the wife do it. When a man is married to a strong wife who will take over, he often lets her do just that.

越来越多的男人在家里变得被动起来。他们已经发现，最简单的事，就是什么都不做。最容易的，也是风险系数最小的就是呆在栅栏上双脚腾空，让老婆来解决。当一个男人和一个强势的女人结婚时，那个男人通常会让那个女人接手，掌管一切。

Fortunately, there is an answer. The Scriptures clearly give us the model for being a man, a husband and father. I call that model the "servant/leader."

幸运的是，我们有办法。圣经中清楚地为我们指明一个男人，一个丈夫，一个父亲的样子。我们可以称他为“仆人/领导“。

I hope that the concepts I share will help you understand the biblical role of a husband more clearly than ever before. When correctly interpreted and applied, these concepts not only result in freedom for the husband and wife, but also help you work better as a team to combat isolation and conflict in your marriage.

我希望这个概念可以帮助你明白圣经中的关于丈夫这个角色，比以往更清晰。当你可以正确的解释并运用这个概念时，它不仅可以让丈夫和妻子都得自由，同样也可以让你们提升团队合作，抵抗婚姻中的征战和冲突。

#1: Be a leader. 

The Scriptures provide a clear organizational structure for a marriage. Following are a couple of typical Scriptures:

圣经为我们提供了一个清晰地婚姻框架。以下是一些圣经依据：

But I want you to understand that Christ is the head of every man, and the man is the head of a woman, and God is the head of Christ (1 Corinthians 11:3). 

我愿意你们知道，基督是男人的头；男人是女人的头；神是基督的头。 (哥林多前书 11:3 和合本)

Wives, be subject to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, as Christ also is the head of the church, He Himself being the Savior of the body. But as the church is subject to Christ, so also the wives ought to be to their husbands in everything. Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself up for her, so that He might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, that He might present to Himself the church in all her glory, having no spot or wrinkle or any such thing; but that she would be holy and blameless. So husbands ought also to love their own wives as their own bodies. He who loves his own wife loves himself; for no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ also does the church, because we are members of His body (Ephesians 5:22-30). 

你们作妻子的，当顺服自己的丈夫，如同顺服主。因为丈夫是妻子的头，如同基督是教会的头；他又是教会全体的救主。教会怎样顺服基督，妻子也要怎样凡事顺服丈夫。你们作丈夫的，要爱你们的妻子，正如基督爱教会，为教会舍己。要用水藉着道把教会洗净，成为圣洁，可以献给自己，作个荣耀的教会，毫无玷污、皱纹等类的病，乃是圣洁没有瑕疵的。丈夫也当照样爱妻子，如同爱自己的身子；爱妻子便是爱自己了。从来没有人恨恶自己的身子，总是保养顾惜，正像基督待教会一样，因我们是他身上的肢体（有古卷加：就是他的骨他的肉）。 (以弗所书 5:22-30 和合本)

In his commentary on Ephesians, William Hendriksen points out that God "... placed ultimate responsibility with respect to the household on the shoulders of the husband . . . The Lord has assigned the wife the duty of obeying her husband yet ... this obedience must be a voluntary submission on her part, and that only to her own husband, not to every man."

在William Hendriksen对以弗所书的诠释中指出，上帝已经将关于家庭的一切责任都放在了丈夫的肩上。同时上帝也将妻子的责任定义为“顺从“那是一种自愿的，仅顺从她丈夫本人的顺服。

"Head" does not mean male dominance, where a man lords it over a woman and demands her total obedience to his every wish and command. God never viewed women as second-class citizens. His Word clearly states that we are all equally His children and are of equal value and worth before Him. As Galatians 3:28 tells us, "There is neither Jew nor Greek, slave nor free, male nor female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus" (Galatians 3:28).

“头“的意思，不是要男权统治，要女人无条件的服从男人的一切意愿和命令。上帝从未将女人定义为“二等公民”。祂的话语清楚地将我们（男人和女人）看为祂的子民，在祂面前被视为同样的珍贵。就像加拉太书3:28中告诉我们的，“并不分犹太人、希腊人，自主的、为奴的，或男或女，因为你们在基督耶稣里都成为一了。 ”

The teaching of the New Testament clearly shows that women are to be respected, revered, and treated as equals with men. Unfortunately, many husbands have not gotten the message. They degrade their wives by neglect or with insensitive and abusive treatment. One cause of the feminist movement may have been that men abandoned God's design. When God presented Eve to Adam in the Garden, Adam received her as a gift of great value to God and him. When husbands, particularly Christian husbands, do not treat their wives as a precious gift from God and helpmate, they can cause those wives to search for a way to find significance and value as persons, often outside God's will.

在圣经新约中教导我们，要尊敬，尊崇女性，并且与男性视为平等。不幸的是，很多丈夫没有收到信息。他们把妻子视为下一等的人，不顾念妻子的感受，甚至虐待她们。造成女权运动的原因之一，是男人已经丢弃了上帝的设计。当上帝在伊甸园中将夏娃带到亚当面前时，亚当把夏娃当做上帝给他的非常贵重的礼物。当丈夫们，特别是基督徒丈夫们，没有把妻子当成是上帝赐下的珍贵的礼物，帮助者，他们会直接导致妻子们去寻求她们作为人的价值，常常远离上帝的意愿。

Are you a leader? Men who are "natural" leaders have no trouble answering the question, yes. They know how to take over, control, guide, and get things done. Some men are not strong or natural leaders. How can they lead in the home?

你是一个带领者吗？作为天生领导者的男人们会毫无疑问地回答：是的。他们知道怎样接管、掌握、引导或者把事情做好。有些男人并未那么强壮，或者具有天生的领导才能。他们如何才能在家里带领呢？

Paul says the same to everyone. God has placed the husband in the position of responsibility. It does not matter what kind of personality a man may have. Your wife may be resisting you, fighting you, and spurning your attempts to lead, but it makes no difference. I believe our wives want us and need us to lead. You are not demanding this position; on the contrary, God placed you there. You will not lead her perfectly, but you must care for you wife and family by serving them with perseverance.

保罗也向所有人说了同样的话。上帝把男人放在责任的位置上。无论一个男人具有怎样的性格。你的妻子或许会抵抗你，与你斗争，或者藐视你的领导尝试，但是那并不能改变本质。我相信我们的妻子们想要并需要我们领导他们。你不需要去要求站在那个位置上；相反，上帝已经把你放在那个位置上了。你或许不会很完美的领导她，但是你必须要关心你的妻子和家庭，用耐性服侍他们。

Scripture does more than assign leadership in a marriage to the husband, however. Those same passages you just read also provide a model for that leadership. The Apostle Paul says that the husband is head of the wife as Christ is head of the church. "This comparison of the husband with Christ reveals the sense in which a man should be his wife's "head." Hendriksen writes, "He is her head as being vitally interested in her welfare. He is her protector. His pattern is Christ Who, as head of the Church, is its Savior!"

然而，圣经不仅仅是在婚姻中指派丈夫的职责。你刚刚读到的那些章节，也同样提供了一个好榜样。使徒保罗说丈夫是妻子的头，就像基督是教会的头一样。将丈夫与基督同做比喻显明出每位丈夫都应该是他们妻子的头。Hendriksen写到，“他作为她的丈夫，要为着她的益处着想。他是她的保护者，他的榜样是那作为教会头的基督，教会的救赎者！“